i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You work out of a Hotel?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
