if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
