it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I want to be your penis for a week.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
