that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
