I just pynch a tree in the face
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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