On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
