I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
