maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
love makes seman taste better
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize