I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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