So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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