Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
