***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
