True but thats because hes a fetus.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
