is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
