I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
