butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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