in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
