ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
