the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
