Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
