So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
