What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize