saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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