the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
