I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
