so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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