If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
