I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
