yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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