We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize