Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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