What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize