Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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