i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
