I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
