Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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