dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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