how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
