I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
