it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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