so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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