No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Let's get the cat blown out
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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