First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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