Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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