1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so that wasnt chicken after all
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
