then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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