i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize