I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
