So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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