Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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