dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
that is very illegal...i love you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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