I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
