His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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