he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
