I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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