Jerry, you need to find god
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
