you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Shame - the story of my life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
