Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
