when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
