didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
