Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
