do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
