He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize