i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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