Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize