Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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