Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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