the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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