When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize